By: Charity Gutierrez
For every beast of the forest is mine, the cattle on a thousand hills.
Psalm 50:10
A few weeks ago I was really struggling with negative feelings regarding our family’s debt- thousands of dollars in school and business loans. Yet the Lord really dealt with me on this the other day. I had been praying about whether or not we should acquire more debt with a car loan. Our family van needed repairs exceeding its value. I struggled with the idea of accumulating more debt.
At the same time the boys approached me with a request. They wanted a game for a new system that had been given to them as a gift that day. The game costs twenty dollars. Now my husband has a budget of fifty dollars every two weeks for our entire family for “entertainment”- and we had not spent it.. I explained to the boys that their daddy had the money they needed. They wanted to see it in their “reward” cups- the cups where I put pennies or nickels when they do something worth award. I handed them their cups. They added it up… only 46 cents. They began to cry.
My oldest cried, “But I take care of my sister. I clean up. I need an allowance.” I said that daddy and I know all the things he does. I assured him he was getting an allowance just not one that he could see. I told the boys that we want to give them not just what they need but also some of the things they want just because we love them. We enjoy giving them those things which they have proven they truly want.
I tried explaining to them that since daddy loves them he puts away money every month for them… it was in the bank. They wanted to see the money.They wanted to know where the bank was. I explained to them I don’t even see the money… I swipe my debit card and the money is then transferred into the stores bank from my bank without ever seeing it. I understood it but they could not. I tried to reassure them. “I have it for you… daddy already put it away you just cannot see it.” They could not get it.
My boys then started to fight over the coins in their cups. My four-year old went hysterical when my two-year old grabbed a nickel from his cup. “My nickel!!” “My nickel!”…
Then the Lord began to deal with me. It was as if I could hear his voice gently saying…
“Charity I have the money you need… I set it aside in MY bank account every month. You just cannot see it. You want to see it in your bank account… in your little coin cup. You want to see a zero for your debt. You want to see that number in black and white. You base what you have on what you see. Where is your faith? I own the cattle on a thousand hills- it is all mine. Your debt is a nickel to me. I could pay it off right now if I wanted to. I will provide for the car loan. I already have. I will pay off MY debt in MY time… on MY budget. You need to stop whining when it feels like your nickels are being taken away. You need to trust that your money is sitting in MY account and what you see means nothing.”
It has been weeks since that happen. We did decide to purchase a used van with an auto loan- acquiring more debt- trusting in the Lord to provide as he always has. The boys never did get the game… they actually have forgotten about it. Funny how like me- they think they need something and need it RIGHT NOW- yet they really did not. Sometimes I think the Lord does not give me what I want when I want it because he knows I am not in the position to receive it. He knows my needs. He knows my wants. He knows my heart. He blesses accordingly.
I thought about what I have learned from my family’s debt: Being on a budget due to debt teaches you to really consider what you purchase and what you purchased. It teaches you to truly evaluate and value the things you work for… especially when those “things” are people. I pray that my family will always live on a budget- the Lord’s budget. I pray we will master budgeting every minute of our time and every penny of our money according to the budget the Lord sets for us. I pray we never forget the true value of money- understanding its true cost is time. I pray we always remember who holds all things and all time in his hands.
I thank God that he loved me so much that he took the time to tell me. Thousands of years bringing forth the message of his love. That took a lot of work from a lot of men who were willing to be moved to action by his spirit.
My Prayer:
Thank you God for your word, for the faithful writers of the scriptures who took the time to write down your message for me. Thank you that you continue to move on men and women’s hearts to communicate your love today. May you bless those who are faithful in communicating your love.
Thank you God that you loved me enough to give me time… an eternity of time given to me in one instant… when Jesus died on the cross. All my debt paid in one moment. Thank you God for Jesus. Thank you Jesus for the cross.
