Being Real

By: Charity Gutierrez

When we started this blog I debated about “how real” I wanted to get.  How much of my life I wanted to reveal.  In the end I decided that no matter what I wrote I was going to write with one purpose… to encourage.

 I am not perfect.  My kids are not perfect.  My husband is not perfect.  Our family and our life are far from it.  But the one thing that I am determined to be is a woman who chooses to see hope and to speak encouragement to others. 

 Do I mess up? Absolutely.  Do I say things I regret?  Yes.  Do I act out in ways that I shouldn’t?  Every day. 

I am not the “Betty Crocker” mom with every meal planned for the week including drinks and dessert.  I do not even have a menu planned for tomorrow.  My kids are not involved in every program available to enrich and develop them; in fact they are not involved in any.  I do not have my grocery list planned for two weeks, organized according to the isles in the grocery store.  My two year old is not potty trained.  My three year old does not know what a hexagon is or how to read.  My six year old only speaks English.  My 5 month old still sleeps in my bed. I don’t really “do” much.  I stay home with my kids and I home school, sometimes horribly I admit.      

 What is my life?   I am just one imperfect woman striving with all my might to one day be made perfect in Christ.  I mess up.  I pray.  I try again.  I stumble.  I fall short.  But I don’t give up.  I refuse to give in to self-pity and hopelessness. I refuse to be overwhelmed by circumstances.  Yes I may fall, but I refuse to stay down.  I may not get it right today, but I am going to try it again tomorrow.  Why?  Because I have four children who are watching every move I make.

 Job 17:15
where then is my hope?  Who will see my hope?

 I have many goals that I would like to accomplish, many things that I hope for.   I hope to start setting a strict schedule and sticking to it, preparing a weekly meal plan, potty training my son, getting my daughter out of my bed, learning to speak Spanish with my son,  becoming a consistently excellent home school teacher to my children, etc.  These are all hopes that I have, goals that I have set, and I know that if they are all in God’s will for me (and I believe they are) I will accomplish them. Yet, while these are my hopes they are not my hope.

Psalm 39:7
“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.

I could look at all the things that I hope to accomplish and start with all the “When this, then this” thinking.  I could say, “When I set a schedule than I will have become the mom I want to be.”  But that is nonsense.  I am the mom that I want to be.  Because I am the mom with the hope of a mighty Savior and I am living out my hope everyday in front of my kids.  They know I am not perfect, but they know who is.  

 So while the world may not think I am “doing” much, I know otherwise.  I am teaching my children how to walk with Christ.  They hear me talk about him and thank him throughout the day.  They watch me lift my hands to give him the praise he deserves.  We sing songs and dance to worship music together. Sounds like your poster for the Christian mom, but here is the side to the Christian mom the posters don’t show: 

They see me get angry. They hear me yell.  They see me overwhelmed and frustrated, discouraged and down.  They see me stumble and they watch me fall.  But children need to see us stumble and watch us fall.  It is when we fall that by watching us they learn how to get back up.  

The way we react to our own failures is the way our children will react to theirs.  If we want our children to apologize when they act out, we too must apologize when we act out.  If we want them to make a conscious choice to change a bad attitude, we must show them how to do that by first doing it ourselves toward them.  I am speaking to myself.  Most of all, if we want them to turn to the Lord during the hard times, then that is where they must see us turn when we are having a hard time.  Let them see the tears.  Let them hear the prayers. Show them what it looks like to make things right with God. 

I will say it again.  I am not perfect.  But, I have a goal: to one day be made perfect in Christ and to teach my kids to strive to be the same.

Philippians 3:12
[ Straining Toward the Goal ] Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. 

Today was a hard day on the home front, but I am grateful for it.  I pray that as I continue this blog my transparency will comfort other moms out there like me; women who need encouragement and reassurance. 

For all my readers, I want to encourage you to begin looking at every situation in your life and start asking God, “What are you trying to teach me?”  Get away in a quite place and start writing down your thoughts.  That is when your hope will be manifested to you. 

I took this picture today while I was driving, before I knew what I would be writing about tonight:

 

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Jeremiah 29:11